She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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