Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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