im drinking this country out of the recession.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
