I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
