I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize