I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
