your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
