just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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