I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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