apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
