As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
PANTIES FOUND
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