I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
our cab driver is having phone sex.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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