I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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