If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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