I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
