But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
