Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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