please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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