I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize