Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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