I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I had to cum in my sink.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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