I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
