Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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