You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
