wake up i wanna do it froggy style
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
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You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
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Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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