You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
