why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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