One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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