Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
