Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
