I like to think it a success when the cops are called
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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