i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
