I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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