You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Dick very happy bro
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
