Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
