Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
