i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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