so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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