tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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