Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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