Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
