Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
