Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
