WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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