I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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