help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
