His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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