Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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