dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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