shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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