Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
