Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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