I wish I could punch you in the face.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
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im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
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I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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