She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
