i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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